Kanani 
Hawaii living 
Kanani 

You don’t want this.
You want the bubbly laughter
the easy smile
the funny faces made during every serious moment.

You don’t want this.
You want tight hugs
that last a few seconds longer then it needs to be
the running into your arms from a block down just because I saw you.

You don’t want this.
You want my hand in yours
strolling through the city
picnics in the park
and long drives with the windows rolled down
going nowhere and everywhere.

You don’t want this.
You want the small tilt of the head
and big eyes shyly peering up at you
from underneath long thick lashes.

You don’t want this.
You want fevered kisses
in dimly lit rooms
a tangle of arms and hands
and legs and bodies and mouths
and whispered moans of
I want you.

You don’t want this.
This is the 3 am calls of unstoppable crying.
This is the jealousy when I see you with her.
This is the monsters that ravage apart every single smile you’ve ever given me.
This is the panic attacks.
The insecurity.
The ugly secrets.
The broken.

This is me.
And you don’t want this

"I’ve had a thing for you for so long I can’t even remember when it started. You’re beautiful and outgoing and all I’ve ever wanted in a girl." But what if the girl you know isn’t me? -gaa (via mysterygrl13)
"The first day you told me I was lovely it warmed me on the inside and I carried the word tucked into my cheek, ready to spill. I don’t think you think I’m lovely any more and I’m swilling the word like poison in my mouth, uncertain whether to swallow or spit it out."
I’m not sure what I did wrong, I hope you still think I’m lovely (m.w)
"Sometimes you give someone the love they really need, the love they really crave for but you’re just not the one they want it from. And god damn does it hurt like hell for the both of them."
What I Learned From Unrequited Love (via inbetweenfearandfreedom)
"You don’t understand, she’s my perfect sunrise."
One sentence love story by M.S.F. (via darkestoffictions)
"whatever the weather, whatever the tide
i will always be there, right at your side
to hold your hand,
to help you through the pain;
i’ll pick up your broken parts and i’ll put you back together,
piece by piece, edge to edge;
i’ll trace your seams and scars with my fingertips
in hopes that one day, they’ll heal
and this pain that you feel
will be gone for good
and you will be at peace
with yourself
and you will be
happy (blackwordsandcheapgoodbyes)
"I’ll tell you what happens
when the woman you were too scared to love
finds someone better
You let your face fall into the ruin of regret and
you wear the scars
Little boy, learn from this
watch the curve of her back as
she walks away like a promise saying
she’s not coming back for you this time"
"Aka I’m Finally Over Your Shit"- K. Wagner (via th3gr0wnupchild)
"Why do you write so much heartbreak poetry?" 
he asked, 
she said, 
“I would rather write out my feelings then etch them on my skin 
I would rather have a clean canvas,
people can’t see my dirty soul this way, 
no one will know of the monster underneath, 
the truth is, 
I write heartbreak poetry because you broke my heart
you shattered it and it’s not beautiful, 
it’s been told that when something breaks it’s a galaxy of new creations well that’s not true 
there is nothing gorgeous about this 
do you want me to tell you that I write heartbreak poetry because it’s fun? 
it’s not fun, it was never fun 
I’ve bled out metaphors so many times that I’ve began to lose count of the ones I’ve already written down
I can’t make you the devil through my words and I certainly can’t do it through my poetry, but I do it anyways 
I see these stanzas of prose about heartbreak and I thought it would heal me, but all it has done is make the wound bigger and bigger and bigger, it engulfed my heart and then broke my ribs and so now what? 
Are you going to ask about my heavy footsteps and lopsided demeanor because I can tell you that there’s chains tied to my ankles and they look like every word you said to me after we ended
I can tell you that there’s a numbness where half my soul used to lay
It doesn’t get better, 
It doesn’t 
I have a permanent headache from crying over you 
I still drink amble amounts of water, but I’m always dehydrated 
The endless amounts of tears do that to you 
They say 
“Time heals a broken heart” and either the clock hates me or that’s a lie told for the broken hearted to rely on some hope 
There is no hope 
and the truth is I still love you, 
barred teeth and all
the fangs you grew don’t scare me,
it’s the way you bit into me and tore my insides apart, 
I trusted you, I really did
I bet all my money on you and I ended up broke and in tears 
You were my God and now I don’t know what to believe in,
but I have to believe in something so I spend each night praying to God
and I always ask him to bring you back to me 
I always think he’s starting to listen, but then you ask me questions like these so I’m not really sure anymore, but I’ll still ask 
You were the one good thing I had, but I messed up because everything I touch crumbles in the end
I screw up
I’m a screw up and I’m trying to prove to you that I’m not the monster you think I am, but I don’t know how to when you are as deaf as your mind nothing goes on in there except for the sounds of your own voice 
I’m sorry I love you,
but you are the only thing I chose to love and you weren’t forced so I spend my nights trying to make sense as to why I still do and I shouldn’t even when you asked me to hate you I still didn’t 
and maybe that’s why I write so much heartbreak poetry because I still love you."

i hope that answered your question


(via unscriptedconfabulationmn)
"And eventually you won’t think of him as often and places you once went together will slowly turn back into cafés and coffee shops and they will no longer taste like his love."
I’ll miss you until I don’t (via ashrenaef)

1. I hope you kiss enough
lips to claim that
none could compare
to the kiss of a drunken
heartbroken romantic who
knows more about pain than
she does about real love.

2. I hope you learn to trip
awkwardly into love rather
than fall crashing down into it
like a bird knocked out
of the sky you deserve a
chance to pick yourself up

3. I hope your nights end up
with you wrapped in strangers’
sheets and remember to take your
heart off your sleeve before
you lose it when you sneak out
in the early hours of the next morning.

4. I hope you learn to stop hiding
behind the curls of your hair and
expose your eyes to the world
a stranger crossing the street might
decide to fall in love with the way
they shine at the sight of the sky.

5. I hope you can stop the
words ‘i love you’ from
escaping your mouth unless
you mean them with every
fiber of your skin don’t
learn to use love as your
weapon of choice.

A letter to a future me (via rbcages)